Wednesday, April 1, 2009

For those of you who have never experienced a 17 hour plus flight let me briefly describe the inhumanity man has perpetrated on his fellow man in what is called airplane class distinction.(the horror the horror) As we enter the craft we are forced to observe this futuristic scene called business class ( we aren't even privy to the first class cabin as it is closed off to us voyeurs. The mind reels with images surreal) First we pass little pod stations ala George Jetson these pods have seats which convert into flat beds when in flight. There are personal TV and video systems and cloth bags of amenities containing aromatherapy facial misters, revitilizers, eye creams and lotions etc etc from somewhere in France you will never go. Richard Branson himself approves of these items from the personal collection of some king from the Orient. There is dinner and a show which includes hidden videos from coach class of passengers going thru the fits of deep vein thrombosis. as they adjust their seat back to recline 12 degrees. it is like a scene from Americas funniest videos. There is an envelope to collect loose international change for either Unicef or a general fund to help those of us from coach class to make ends meet when we hit the airport and have to buy a latte. In business there are catered parties and hot and cold seafood buffets.
we get a coke and and a TV dinner

3 comments:

  1. hope you took plenty of trips to the back of the plane to avoid those deep vein thrombosis'!!

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  2. But the part about them hauling your sorry ass
    8,000 miles from Boston to Melbourne in less than a day -- without the threat of scurvy, piracy, seasickness or shipwreck and with flush toilets, movies and magazines -- doesn't do anything for you?

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  3. We need more updates dammit. Your public demands it.

    ReplyDelete